Queen-Kitty

After recovery she said her mind was quiet, but how does a mind sound when it's at rest? What does a mind sound like when an imagined catastrophe doesn't occur every 2.7 seconds? Or when it's not constantly scanning, perceiving the next risk and blazing in to attack some less than idle threat? How does it stay safe when it's not creating CONSTANTSPIRALING PANIC? How does it feel when your own mind doesn't portray every waking moment as survival?

I lost my loneliness today. I scraped and brushed it into the paint with blunt force. It's over there on the canvas covered with brushstrokes, and my body aches with the pain of letting it go, of throwing it away. It cried as I spread it thick with paint, so I turned up my music louder until its cries were drowned out. The sorrow crept in, so I painted more fiercely, tiptoed and slipping in the wet paint, drowned the canvas in water until the harshness faded away. The loneliness was still there, but it wasn't mine anymore.